Tuesday, May 19, 2015

I'm Lucky

I've been though hell over a lot of my adult life, but I'm lucky.  I still suffer from depression but at the same time it's been pretty minor and manageable. It's hard to change your mind set and how you think, and I still think really low of myself, but I know I'm lucky and I wouldn't change much in my life right now.

Guy and I are as strong as ever.  We have a bunch of bumps and stress going on but He's really amazing.  I've fallen in love with him, well I was in love with him for a very long time before this.  Sometimes I wonder if the day I met him I didn't fall in love with him.  I count my blessings about having this amazing man in my world who puts up with me and the mutts and comes back for more.  There are still things I'm not happy with but there is no relationship that's 100%, you have to take the good with the bad.  If the bad is him not being in the mood for sex too often and him not wanting to actually take the next step of living together.  I love him and if he needs it slow, then so be it.  I'm not going anywhere and for the time, I know he's not either.

Yeah I still don't think he'll stick forever but now of days, it doesn't happen.  Yeah I still lack confidence but whatever.  I just hope he remembers my deal that if he can't continue in our relationship then tell me, don't cheat.  We will work it out or move on without damaging our friendship as much as possible.  

I'm lucky.  Not a great job but it pays the bills, great dogs, good family, and one hell of a amazing man walking beside me.  I'm lucky that I got the chance to be with him, to let him show me his world, and to grow as much as I have.