Tissues and more Tissues

I don't know what's wrong with me tonight.  Why did I allow myself to get attached to an unreachable guy?  I mean why did I do this to myself?  Why do I keep doing this to myself?  I really should end this but I would really be alone.  He's the only reason why I leave the house, why I go out at all.  I don't like going out alone at all.  I don't even go to the store unless I have to.  I wish I was different.  I wish I was more confident, more sure of myself, happier, in a better mental place.  Instead I'm a loser who hides behind her computer screen hoping that something changes.  Never taking a chance.  Perhaps one day things will click and I'll step out of this shell and become the person I always wish I was.  Until then I guess I'll just hide behind my wall in the shadows and watch my world go by without me in it.